Have you faced times in your life when you were sad and at the same time you were happy? It is a weird feeling and it generally happens when you do the right thing. The feeling of being nice gives you that happy feeling and the feeling of loosing something because of being nice makes you feel unhappy.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius has lately been a huge influence on the way I think and the way I am trying to lead my life. He talks about not letting external things affect and just do the right thing. It does not matter what others think as everything in the world is temporary. You, your loved ones, your enemies, everyone would be part of dust sooner or later. The past and the future exists only in our mind. It is only the present that has an existence and it is the one that matters.
Live your life in the present. What matters is what you believe in. Do not bother about things outside your self. You do not have any control over them and hence cannot change them. Be grateful for the things you have. Have a purpose in your mind and work for that.
Stoicism is an ancient Hellenic philosophy which believed that a perfect individual would not let her emotions affect her. Stoics (Zeno, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca etc) preached self control and advised to remain indifferent to the vagaries of the world.
1. It is our reactions to the events that causes suffering. Regulate your reaction.
2. Sphere of influence: Only what is inside your mind is directly under your sphere of influence. Your friends, your environment, what others think of you are only marginally under your command. Since you cannot control them, worrying about them serves no purpose. Do what you want to do disregarding what others think of it.
3. Past is past. You cannot change it so forget about it. Future is yet to happen. You can just control what is the present.
4. Every day you will meet people you dont like who will try to hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. You cannot change them so live with it. Their power over you is their power to hurt you in your mind. If you do not allow them to hurt your thoughts, you make them powerless.
5. Today could be your last day. Live it.
6. Your possessions are temporary. Imagine life without them and take pleasure in their existence.
7. People you love and people who love you are very important. More important than your ego. Accepting defeat in front of them does not make your smaller.
8. Think of the bigger things. If you think of smaller matters your mind and your efforts would be limited to them.